


METAL GEAR SOLID VI: FIGHT OF METAL GEARS

by DarkTorgami



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Nanobreaker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-01-17 09:36:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1382614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkTorgami/pseuds/DarkTorgami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake Snake need stop nanomachines of uprising. Inspirations inspired by epic fic of squirrelking! :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Resonance

_**AN: Yo doods so I need to gather sum inspirationalisms but I had this on as a side fic in the background when I kneaded a pause. THIS WILL MAKE MGS4 LOOK LIKE MGS1 OR 3 DEPENDING ON WHICH ONE'S YOR FAVE!**_  
  
Solid Snake died after MGS4 and had a son which he never seed who was Jake Snake and 30 years later Jake Snake was 30 years old and the world had been in peace and Metal Gars were now in museum.  
  
 **IN A PLACE**  
  
So Jake Snake was stealthing around Central Park when he SUDDENLY MET BAD ROBOT GUYS sneeking the park.  
  
"They look like bad robot guys! I must sneak and take out bad guys and live up to my family name." sayed Jake Snake as he sneaked the guards until they were all in a row and shooted a nonlethal tranq through all their hearts and they went out asleep with ZZZZZ bubbles on their heads and he sneaked past BUT SAWED A LINE OF HUMAN CORPSE BODIES WITH TEARS SUGGESTING SOMETHING HAD LEAPED UP OUT OF THEIR BODIES SO HE FORT "How did big robot jump out of humen?" and then saw the roboty dudes break down into NANOMACHINES cos they were all nanomachines and made themselves into a giant nanomachine turret.  
  
(SN: "Duel" MGS1) ( _AN: "SN" means suondtarck note for dose hoo have nor readed my otter fics so you play the music at this part_ )  
  
The turret began firing rockets with machine fire so Jake Snake had to get behind cover and ran to Smithsonian Metal Gear Exhibit where they keeped Metal Gears in good condition in case peace were to be at sake. Jake Snake got out the Metal Gear keys.  
  
 _ **FLASHBACK**_  
  
"Snake these are special keys you must wield in the face of danger. When bad guys return as battle of good and evil you must be good and taek Metal Gears and KICK ASS!" Johnny Sasaki sayed and then went on skiing trip with Jake Snake but all the snow gathered up and clumped on him while riding the lift up so he had to roll down the hill like a snowball and hit a billboard for Skip Woods Must Die Hard which was the necks Die Hard film and had been called "the Rocky Balboa of its series" by the peeps who sawed it.  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
Jake Snake shooted NUCLEAR down the turret's barrel and nanomachines exploded and burned then the nuclears cleaned themselves up cos they were smart nuclears that were programmed to not poison peeps so they had permakilled cancer.  
  
"THS IS NOT THE END OF ORGAMECHS!" roboted Nanomachines as they blowed up and dyed.  
  
"THEN I WILL FIGHT TO END AND SNAKE THROUGH AL BAD GUYS OR MY NAME IST JAKE SNAKE!" he sayed as he gotted out of Metal Gear and went to a Johnny Rocket's for a brugr.  
  
 _ **MEANWHILE AT A GRAVEYARD**_  
  
"We must bring back bad guy and do bad things for Orgamech future!" roboted nanomachines as they went to grave of.........  _ **LIQUID OCELOT!!!!1**_  
  
"Where am I? When am I?" Oselot.  
  
"We are new nanomachines named Orgamechs who will take over world where Patriots have failed and we need leading man so we returned you to life! From this point on you are NEO CYDER LIQUID OCELOT cos you are new and roboty which makes a cyder I guess."  
  
"That sounds like a Djent metal song but okay I got nothing else to really do so I guess I could to thi-  _ **TWF!?**_ "  
  
Oselot's jaw droped as he saw his Liquid arm had grown fully into.......... LIQUID SANKE!!! Cept he had his left leg connected to Oeclot's arm so there wasn't a foot or a hand there just a beefy limb thingy.  
  
"WTF IS THIS SPOSED TO ACCOMPLISH?" sayed Liquid and Ocelt cos Ocelot was having a hard time lifting Liquid and Liquid couldn't quite bend his neck to see what Revolver was seeing.  
  
"oh hold on some adjestmnts pls" sayed nanomachines as they concentrated some more around the connecting limb and Liquid's neck so they had the sterngh and felxiblity kneaded. Then they armed Liquid with duel revolvers that shooted nuclear ammo and he did the twirly thingy while Ocelot armed his other hand with an ICBM launcher.  
  
"Okay this is pretty cool." They both said.  
  
 _ **MEANWHILE IN A BASE**_  
  
Raiden was watching the fight from his base and emergencied "I must make wepon to fight nanomachines." So Raiden went to smithing factory in his base and crafted all sorts of elements and smooshed them with other junk and dated wepon and made new katana that will slice up nanomachines when he remembered!  
  
 _ **FLASHBACK**_  
  
"Bro this is sword that saved island from Orgamechs!" sayed nanobreaker guy whose name I forgot cos HE WAS HIS BORTHER and gave him trusty sword.  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
"I will use sword to fight Orgamechs" note Raiden and he smooshed brosword with his lucky katana to make a better sword which he cod call his wepon.  
  
"I WILL NAME SWORD NANOBREAKER AFTER NANOBREAKER DOOD WHO WAS BRO AND FIGHT NANOMACHINES AND ORGAMECHS WITH MY PURE NANOMACHINES!" and raised his katana to sky.  
  
to be continued...?  
  
 _ **YESSSSSSS!!!!**_


	2. Fusion

**_AN: I forgotted to say early but I have been trying to rehearse scenes for fic WITH LEGOS but they only seem to build up into spaceships even doh I just smooshed a bunch of random bricks cos they make spaceships I guess so it prophecies to make spaceships? :O_**  
  
So Jake Snake who was Solid Snake's son ate his burger and all the Americans cheered him cos he fought off the nanomachines from the are and he say "MY FELLOW AMERCIANS WE SHALL FIGHT NANOMACHINE AND ORGAMECH FOR OUR FREEDOM SO ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR COUNTRY IN THIS COS YOU ARE ALL OF CAPABLE PARTICIPATING IN FIGHT!" then burped cos he ate a milkshake and it was so loud the people from the arcade next door who were playing arcade machines for Gradius and Tekken and Zone of the Enders and two dudes were playing Yu-Gi-Oh! ran over to applause cos the crowd was going "SNAKE! SNAKE! **SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!** "  
  
So Jake Snake ranned out in his Metal Gear  _ **WHEN HE GOTTED A RING NOISE FROM HIS CODEC!!!1**_  
  
"Greetings Jake Snake you have doed well in fighting nanomachine turret but lets see how you take THIS!"  
  
(SN: "Grahf Emprah of Darkness" Xenogears ( _AN: If there ist enough music for fic you can add in your own cos it's not epic enough when there's no music lol! ;)_ ))  
  
Neo Cyder Liquid Ocelot took REX Metal Gear from his leg and had Liquid shoot deux rockets in the knees so they crunched and then Ocelot loaded up his tommypistol which was a pistol with a tommygun disk to hold extra ammo and blowed a headshot through Rex's railgun so Jake Snake had to leap out as Rex explode and he gotted to the top of a skyscraper as all the peeply persons ran out and evacuated in terrorization but the exploded flames killed a bunch and they burned and horrify and run some more.  
  
"WHO ARE YOU BAD GUY AND WHY HAVE YOU BAD GUYED BAD GUY WITH YOUR BAD GUY THINGS!?" Jake Snake ziplined and headbutted Ocelot in the nose while kicking Liquid in the throte.  
  
"I AM NEO CYDER LIQUID OCELOT AND BAD NANOMACHINES RELIFED ME TO WORK AS BAD GUY AND BAD GUY WORKS WITH BADS COS THAT WHAT BAD GUYS DO!" Neo sayed as he went all matrixy and twisted the zipline so Jake Snake falled but kicked into a building and used a medkit to take out the glass that gotted in.  
  
Neo then did a flip atop the Muesum of Metal Gears and blowed it up so all the metal gear parts flied up and he attached them to himself to make....... A GIANT METAL GEAR SHAPED AFTER LIQUID SNAKE.  
  
"Ahahaha I AM METAL GEAR LIQUID EVIL METAL GEAR OF LEGENDS! NOW WORLD MUST SURRENDER OR I WILL TURN IT TO NANOMACHINES IN NAME OF NANOMACHINES!" Neo threat.  
  
"Your name stile sounds lik djent metal song!" world snarked as surrender.  
  
"NOW I WORLD!" Liquid evilled as nanomachines dug into earth and seized control over humens using science with Metal Gear Liquid as the base to control humens.  
  
"YOU WILL NOT GET AWAY THIS!" Jake Snake shout from bowel.  
  
"THAT IS WHERE YOU ARE WONG!" Liquid. "BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ONLY SOLID SNAKES SUN YOU ARE ALSO CHILD OF NANOMACHINES MADE FROM SOLID SNAKE JEANS AND RECREATION OF WOMB FROM SOME MOM FROM ROBOT WOMB WE MADE AND LEFT JAKE SNAKE ON OTACON DOORSTEP WICH HE TOKE AND RAISE AND NOW YOU HEAR AND RAISED  _ **SO WE CONTROL YOU NOW!!!!!1**_ "  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- wait why I no control?" Jake.  
  
(SN: "Metal Gear Saga" MGS4)  
  
"BECAUSE I USED MY PURE NANOMACHINES TO IMMUNE JAKE SNAKE LONG AGO WHEN HE WAS A BABBY SO HE DINT REMEMBER THAT!" Raden Nanobreakered in MGL's shoulder so he flinched back and Raien jetpacked Jake Snake up away.  
  
"We must head base with Otacon and make plan to save from nanomachines!" Raiden sclaimed.  
  
"NOT GET AWAY SOON!" MGL roar and railgunned nuclears from his fingers but Raiden slice with Nanobreaker and they got skewed and exploded into each other so it just made a missile shower and the crowd cheered the fireworks on impulse until Neo had the nanomachines override it so they did work to keep the wold doing work for nanomachiney things.  
  
 _ **IN THE BASE**_  
  
"Good we are in base and can start plan!" Otacon speeched old cos he was really old now and had a badass berd like Big Boss cept it was white cos he was old. Also Sunny was his secretary maid now who was cleaning the rrom.  
  
"So my pal here who is goast" Hal point to Sorrow.  
  
"Tanks. " Sorrow. "NOW I HAVE PAL WHO WILL EXPLAIN PALN!"  
  
"Okay...." SOLID SNAKE. "WE MAKE METAL GEAR SOLID SHAPED AFTER SOLID SNAKE WHO IS ME FIGHT METAL GEAR LIQUID IN.."  
  
ALL THREE SHOUT " _ **FIGHT OF METAL GEARS!!!1**_ "  
  
to be continued....... ?  
  
Ya. It totes is.


	3. Selection

So Otacon press a submarine sandwich which was a button and the rrom ejecht and transform into submarine and disguised as Red October so the nanomachines dint notice cos they dint get the ref cos they dint see The Hunt for Red October cos they were too busy dominating the word.  
  
(SN: "Payoff" aka "Hymn To Red October" Basil Pouledoris)  
  
A bunch of green texty letters typed in on the screen for the audience:  
  
AND SO HEROES SUBMARINED PAST NANOMACHINE TENTACLES..... AND FOUND LEFT OVER METAL GEAR PARTS FOR MAKING METAL GEAR SOLID  
  
"We are at junkyard for parts" Solid Sean Conneryed lik Big Boss and also had a berd lik BB.  
  
"Jake Snake must stealth and get parts so Otacon can make Metal Gear Solid" Sorrow laid plan out.  
  
So Jake Snake went to Shadow Moses Junkyard and picked up Metal and Gears and nuclears to make Metal Gear Solid. Jake Snake carry back Metal and Gears and Otacon went back to get the nuclears cos it was too much to carry back. Solid Snake looked at Metal Gear Solid and salute after Otacon build and say "It is a good day for FIGHT OF METAL GEARS!"  
  
BUT THEN A WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ALARM NOISE BLARED AND EVERYTHING WENT SEPIA AND SPOOKY!  
  
"Oh no Shadow Moses is an extended to Silent Hill!" scramed Otacon as he wet his pants.  
  
"Oh pls the munstrs can't be that sca-"  
  
"METAL GEAR SOLID IV" omened an omening chant. And there was......... A GAME BLU-RAY DISC OF METAL GEAR SOLID IV! DUAL LAYERED!!!!  
  
(SN: "Fukuro" Silent Hill 2)  
  
"OH NOES IT IS SCRAYIST MUNSTR" scardied Solid still Sean Connerying.  
  
Solid Snake tried find Metal Gear Solid but it was Silent Hill so it was nowhere found.  
  
Solid hided in a corner but MGS4 diks spot him and gave ! and began cutting into his arm.  
  
"AGAGAGAGAGAGAGAAAAAHHH!" Solid scrame as he pulled it out and stitched arm back with a cure but MGS4 disc.  
  
"I WILL FIGHT MGS4 WITH MGS4!" Otacon smart as he throwed Metal Gear Mk. Deux at disc so hard it explode and melt one of it's layers and the Silent Hill sepia thingy began staticing cos it was getting weak.  
  
Metal Gear Solid 4 disc stumbled from expolsion and rolled up in curl like a taco while Solid Snake pointed a magnet gun loaded with supermagnets cos they can erase data.  
  
"U gong 2 kilme, Snake?" disc texted in green letters with hologram projection.  
  
"Not now, I'm too tired. ............ Maybe later." still point gun at disc so he could shoot BUT NANOBREAKER DOOD (who was Jake Warren cos I ooked it up lol! ;]) came and cutted the disc in half and then Sold wented "what the hell I shot anyway" and shoot so no data on disc and Raiden runned up lik "BROTHER" and Jake Warren "You have done well in making Nanobreaker!" and smile.  
  
Raiden went to hug bro as friend but JAKE WARREN REVEALED FANGS AND HE WAS NANOMACHINES. Also the Silen Hill thingy fell apart cos MGS4 disc was ded.  
  
(SN: "Yell Dead Cell" MGS2)  
  
"THE SURPRISE WAS VAMPIRES!" Warren lolled as he revealed a robo face cos he was A NANOMACHINE SNATCHER which snatches bodies for nanomachines cos they needed brains to make robonanomachine peeps known as orgamechs to build an indsutry and enocomy cos that's how society works.  
  
"ABAJ!" Raiden as he did ninja flip and tried to Nanobreaker into the Nanobreaker (get it!?) but Warren leap back like Alucard then turned into a robo bat and annoyed Raiden in the face.  
  
But then Solid loaded a super magnet and shooted it past between Nanobreaker and Warren motherboard so it drove tru and he explod and wen "NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" cos he ded and die.  
  
Raiden then grabed his katana back and cleasned the robo fluids and sheathed it back.  
Solid then geared into Metal Gear Solid and everyone else hopped in as Solid jumped back to where Metal Gear Liquid was.  
  
 **MEANWHILE WITH LIQUID**  
  
"Ah it is a good day to rule the word." evilled Ocelot.  
  
"Ya it toes is." Liquid  
  
"Ahem we are teh rrrulers." Nanomachines. "You are just the figureheads of our gra-"  
  
"Who shares the profits cos we made Metal Gear Liquid to make you world?" the other 2  
  
"Oh right. that..........." they gave :/ face WHEN METAL GEAR SOLID JUMPED RIGHT BEHIND THEM and crashed the ceiling so they turned around and loked bak.  
  
Neo Cyder Liquid Ocelot whose name still sound like djent metal song get into Metal Gear Liquid which is metal gear shaped like liquid. "So............. Fight of Metal Gears?"  
  
"FIGHT OF METAL GEARS!" everyone else.  
  
 _ **TO BE CONTINUED! FIGHT OF METAL GEARS NEXT CHAP YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!1**_


	4. Selection

Chapter 4: Conception

**_FIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!! OVVVVVVVVVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! METALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!! GIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1_ **

(SN: “Theme of Solid Sake” MGS Integra)

MGL opened nuclear fire from his fingrs and punctured out Solid in the eyes cos it was nuclear spray wich is lik peppardspray but nuclear instead but Solid wiped the nuclear around his head and did a headbutt into iquiL Gear so he got nucleared back in the brain so the nanomachines got nuclear all ovr them wich was icky and gross but they used snake wich is a japanish word for beer to clean it out cos alcohol kills cancer and nuclear does cancer so they kiled the nuclear cos it was cancer.

“YOU ARE FOOLISH DUNDERHEAD!” Liquid snarl. “I AM WORD AND YOU ARE DIE!” His fist spiked up a middle finger spike a nd pluged in2 Metal Gear Sold and coped data for fighting style and predict all moves **_SO LIQUID WINNING FIGHT OF METAL GEARS OH NO!!!!!1_**

“Yeah well you Liquid and not Solid and solid more focused than liquid by particles so you not focused by nature!” Ottercon scienced.

“FUC YUR SEYNCE!” Liquid roboted as nanomachine tentacle tendrils stung into Sold and he do suplex **_BUT SOLID UNSCHEAFE NANOBARKER AND GUTTED TENDRILS OFF NO SANOMACHINES RETREAT BACK IN AND MADE ARMOR!!!1_**

“YOU BIGGER DUNDERHEAD FOR THAT!” Oselot evilled. “ ** _NOW WE DATA FOR NANOBREAKER SO NOW ANTI-NANOBREAKER ARMOR!!!!!1_** ”

**_“AW HELL NHO!!!!!!!”_** Everyone not Liquid or Ocelot or Liquid Ocelot.

**_EXCEPT RAIDEN!!!!1_** He used his pure nanomachines to scan the data for the Anti-Nanobreaker armor to maek............................ Anti-Anti-Nanobreaker-Armor Nanobreaker mk. DEUX! Then he jetpacked thru MGL’s hart and the armor falled off **BUT MG LIQUID GRABED RAIDEN AND SQUEEZED HIM AND HE WAS CHOKING!!!!!!1**

“Ah so you think you can outwepon my armor?” lolled Liquid as nanomachines made **_ANTI-ANTI-NANOBREAKER-ARMOR-NANOBREAKER-MARK-DEUX ARMOR MK. 42!!!_**

PUNCH! MGS punched MGL in the fist so hard Raiden tornaoded out and spun so fast he was A HUMAN TORNADO AND SUCKED IN THE ANTI-ANTI-NANOBREAKER-ARMOR-NANOBREAKER-MARK-DEUX ARMOR MK. 42 AND USED IT TO FORGE................ **_ANTI-ANTI-ANTI-NANOBREAKER-ARMOR-NANOBREAKER-MARK-DEUX-ARMOR-MARK-42  NANOBREAKER MK MARKY MARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1_**

“WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF THAT’S NOT EVEN A NUMBAH CANNOT COMPUTE CRTL-ALT-DELETE!!!!! :V” Liquid short circuited and leaved opening so MGS got out duel AK47s and shooted it so it opened core and Raiden harpooned ANTI-ANTI-ANTI-NANOBREAKER-ARMOR-NANOBREAKER-MARK-DEUX-ARMOR-MARK-42  NANOBREAKER MK MARKY MARK and it made MGL fall over and KO.

So Liquid Oselot gotted out of Metal Gear and shooted a nanomachine blast that acided down the MGS so now it was just them dudes against LO and his nanos. “YOU SHALL NOT STOP RULE OF I AND NANOMACHINES FOR WORD!” boste Liquid.

“AH YOU MAY HAVE NANOMACHINES BUT YOU DO HAVE............. THIS YOU THROWED IN OCEAN!?” Otacon smirk and gave Jake Snake............ **SUNGLASSES!!!!!**

(SN: “Snake Eater (Instrumental)”)

“You fort you buryed me back in MGS4?” ............. ** _MILLER!!!!!1_**

“No, I throwed you out helicopter IN MGS4! HOW YOU FOUND!?” :V Ocelot.

**FLASHBACK** ( _AN: Music still plays here to sound better :D_ )

Solid and pals were in Red October from Silent Hill and began to start the thing BUT METAL GEAR SOLID IV CRAWLED IN DESPITE BEING A MELTY DISC!!!

Solid readied gun when..... HE MELTED FULLY AND REGENERATED INTO SUNGLASSSE!!!!!1

“OMG MILLER IS METAL GEAR SOLID 4 ALE ALONG!” revelated Otacon.

“You knowed I was the sunglasses along. Smart schooly boy you is.” Sunglasses that was Miller snarked and his glasses showed >|:] emoticons.

**_ /FLASHBACK _ **

“Now you pay for throwing me in water!” Miller and Jake Snake synchrolinered and did ninja parkour running up wall and grabed the nanomachine tentacle shooted for them and used to whack Oselot side to side lik Turtles in Tiem but Liquid began shooting at Raiden to take him out and tripped his leg but he dodged the rest while Ocelot twirled his tommypistol and began opening fire AND IT WAS SHOOTING IN A SPREAD LIK CONTRA AND JAKE SNAKE WAS PINNED IN A CORNER so he passed the sunglasses to Otacon who pressed a butoon AND SOLID SNAKE PILEDRIVED THE RED OCTOBER INTO LIQUID OCELOT AND BURIED THEM DOWN!!!

**_ BUT THEN LIQIOD OCELOT CLAWED OUT WITH THE NANOMACHINES SO HE WAS WALKING THROUGH THE FIRE AND NOW LIQUID HAD TWO INTER UNVIERSAL BALLISTIC MISSILE CANNONS DUAL WELDING AND OCELOT’S TOMMYPISTOL HAD NANOMACHINICAL NUCLEAR AMMO BULLETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 _ **

LO blowed all his ammo and hitted everyone but Otacon BUT RAIDEN’S PURE NANOMACHINES FOUGHTED AGAINST THE EVIL WORLD RULING ONES but they were almost deaded but Otacon went up to Snake and sayed “YOU CAN USE RATIONS TO HEAL HEALTH!” so Jake Snake ate rations so no near deaded and shared some with Otacon and Sorrow and Solid goast so they got healthed back to health.

(SN: “Snake Eater (Lyrics kick in nao)” ( **AN: FLOW LYRICS IN SEAMLESSLY FORM WHERE YOU HAD THE INTSRUMETAL b4 LIK DA GAEM1** ))

“NO I SUDVE KILED YOU HOW U LIV” mad Liquid and he began fighting with kung fu lik the Matrix and punched Jake Snake with his tommypistol in the eye but he used CQC to turn it around and Raiden channeled his pure nanomachines to rattle Ocelot in the fase and he got electroscohk but Lqiud discharged that out through the dual lanchers and sparked Raiden but he hit the tripped region so he wast criplled NEmoar cos the bullet got burned out so he Chuck Norris kicked the bit connecting Liqud to Oselot and he lost control so now he was spinning in circles like a county fair ride.

“SOMEBODY STOP THIS SHIT!!!!” Liquid dizzied and puked in 15 shots like Monsturd while Oselot gave >.< face cos itwas gros but he finally gotted Liquid back and now he dual wielded his fists while Ocelot got his tommypistol loaded with standard Contra spreader ammo so Liquid grabed Jake Snake by neck while Ocleot lifted him to lift Jake and buffet him with gun bullets so he got damage but he broked out of torture and forced Liquid fase to kiss Oselot’s and it was sexah and Otacon :\\______________________/ faced “ ** _IT IS ONE OF MY JAPANISH ANIMÉS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1_** ”

So Solid’s goast hacked into Liquid and Nanomachines and Ocelot and now all world was Solid Snake cos nanomachines were still world and he hitted the core of the machines at the same time as teh Sorrow so their goats becumed the hart of the nanomachines and they scarificed hemteslves so the nanomachines were no longer word and everyone was nermal again.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I WAS WORLD!” Ocelot desperated and shooted bullet in all direction so Jake Snake had to run all around celeing with ninja parkour to avoid for a week and then Liquid gotted tired from shooting and Miller as the Sunglasses commanded Jake Snake to drop kick while Otacon gotted Metal Gear mk. II to blow a Blaster bullet into his central functions in his head so he was kicked in the exploded head and did and the ending sting in the soundtrack cued as they stared at his blown open head.

“Humens are saved from nanomachines as family name!” Jake Snake rooted but didn’t notice the nanomachines HAD REGENNED BUT FORMED A DUD COS IT WAS A DOOD ALL ALONG AND THAT DOOD WAS...................

“O hai gozaimas, did you rike my game Metal Gear Solid VI: Fight of Metal Gears?” HIDEO KOJIMA!!!!!!!!!!!1119042

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!11111111


	5. Evolution

(SN: “Pizzicato Playtime” Sam Fonteyn)

AN: ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY LIGHT AND DARK DEUX!!!! Also it’s my birthday so I’m making this chap special cos it’s 2nd deux lats cos I planed 6 of tem.

**HIDEO KOJIMA**

“No sir I didn’t like it” Miller Ren&Stimpied cos it was Miller Time and that’s why the song was playing.

“IT WAS THE OTAKU DREAM GAME AS PACIFIC RIM IS TO MOIVES!” Otacon Kojimad cos he’s a Kojima insert.

“I have lived up to my family name and saved world!” Jake Snake.

“ ** _GAME!?_** What game?” Raiden dint get it cos he was a robot and his calculator wast made to compute this.

Kojima gave O_O face cos all the wods blended in with each other in his brain to form a consensus of :| face. “anyway you have done well in fighting to save world and win game! THE END

**_ HOURS LATER _ **

(SN: “Theme of Laura” Akira Yamaoka)

It was still the end of the game yet there was stile not enough chapers so Kojima broke the ice and chipped it into a sculture of a Snatcher and put it in a transparent freezer.

“What do we do now that game is done but still needs length?” Cosima wondered.

“FIGHT!” Jake Snake boxed and punched Kojima but he stopped it with a DVD of Roots Search wich is an obscure and crappy animé and he watches those and some other moives to get fuel for Metal Gears but then all the characters leaped and pinned him down WRESTLEMANIA and he downed and he lose.

“Well this fight din’t add much length..... oh let’s just plot twist gozaimas!!!1”

**_ IN A COUNCIL _ **

“I say that was the most incredible blast of fun one of those fics had generated.... perhaps our world can be restored!” sayed a director chummy cos they were a council of directors and artists and fun dudes in................. DUBAI!!!!

“YoU doEd wELl iN brInGiNg tHEm tO oUr cOUNcIl, ..... ** _SQUIRRELKING_** , brOTher tO all aNd mASter oF wEPon!” ..............Dark Torgo nodded and welcomed I narrator who is squirrelking to council and Kojima and Jake Snake and Otacon and Raiden but it was a stuffed council and stuffy and everyone was rabble so none was accomplish in rrom cos they were all arging.

“IT IS STILL NOT ENOUGH FUN TO RESTORE OUR WORLD FROM HIM!” sayed a peppy dubai chick who was on a giant set of pedestals labaled “Fic Auters” and her chair sayed...... **_TARA GILESBIE!!!1_**

Quickly I gotted up on the squirrelking chair and watched as Kojima gotted his seat next to Suda51 who was in a lucha libre suplex with Shinji Mikami cos they were reharsing a script.

“And the lucha assasin goes in a bar where he plays chess and for every check someone plays Russian roulette AND WHEN HE CHECKMATES THE OTHER DUDE GETS THE BULLET!” Suda.

“Then he should go and punch dudes in the face which happen to be zombies and they’re on a space station ALL ALONG!” Shinji Mikami.

“And then he gets in a giant mech and gets in epic final boss mech battle gozaimas!” Kojima concluded for them and they fist bumped each other with thumbs up and unisoned “WE SHALL TOTES MAKE THIS!!!!!1”

Also there was a special chair for dead ones cos now they were not dead thanks to technology in this council cos it was some futurey time I guess but not too futurey like maybe about as futurey as the moive Her.

(SN: “cóunter・attàck-mˈænkάɪnd” Shingeki no Kyojin)

“So what are we council for ?” Jake Snake.

“WE ARE COUNCIL FOR SAVING WORLD! ALL OF FUN HAS BEEN UNDER ATTACK BY........... EVIL NOT FUN DUDES WHO WE SHALL SPOIL LATER COS WE ARE WAITING FOR **_HIS_** ARRIVAL!!!!1” they all unisoned.

“Who is he?”

The council continued still unisoning, “HE IS THE ONE WHO REMINDED US THAT ART CAN BE EPIC AND AWESOME AND FUN AND....... FANFICTION OF ALL THINGS!!!! HE IS.............”

“sAVe the name for when he actually arrives.... which shall be soon.” He sayed showing a fun meter almoats full then jumped into a portal wich turned into a video screen which showed this big epic space battle with the header U.B. ~ ULTIMATE BLUD1.

“It’s almost here.....” Tara looked with hope face.

THEN THE SCREEN SHOWED ALL THEM ON ESCAPE THROUGH PORTAL AND VIDEO STOP AND SAYED SUCCESS AND COUNCIL APPLAUSED LIKE ENDER’S GAME ARMY GUYS!

“AWESOME!” Suirahpla awesomed atop the chairs of fic auters.

Dark Torgo then camed in and motioned for Tara so she wented in2 da rrom.

**5 SECONDS LATER (AN: Read it in a Spongebob narratory voyse pls!)**

**“WHATTTTTTTTTTT!?” piearced a scrame so loaud it boasted open the doors and a bunch of characters camed in and a new chair on fic auteurs opened up and it was.......... _D’ARKYAGAM’I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1_**

“Wait, where is D’ark?” Suirahpla worried.

“Clealy he is located in a place we cannot find despite our attempts to recruit and gotted out a locator cos now that they had D’arkYagam’i characters.

“I have located him............ but he is not where I would like him tobe.” Logicked Spock as he revealed his locator algorithm and every one else “OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111!”

**_ WHAT IS THE LOCATION!? WHO IS THE ONE(S?) ATTACKING THE WORLD OF FUN!? WHO ARE THE COUNCIL!? Also it’s my birthday and I started playing Xenogears but f-ck the text is REAAAAAAAAL SLOW if a snail got put into bullet time like the Matrix but in the Ice Age and that was paced in bullet time again that’s how slow it was AND YOU CUNT CHANGE THE SPEED FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!1 _ **

**_NECKS CHAPER FINAL ONE AND THEN MORE LIGHT AND DARK DEUX OR A SIDE FIC OR A BRAKE!? I dunno lol._ **


	6. Liberation

_AN: Sorry for this chap being late and stuffs but I was busy doing worky stuffs. Sos now I ben getting more genre savvy to make the fics more über epic and stuffs. Also Xenogears still has teh slowest text eva. :/_

(SN: “Fuse” Xenogears)

“OH NOOOOOOOOOO! D’ARK IS CAPTIVE A TERRENCE MALICK!!!!!” olded Old Joseph from JoJo’s Bazaar Adventure and everyone else joined.

“I DO NOT KNOW THIS TERRICK MALLENCE YOU PSEAK OFF BUT I CAN SENSE HE IS BAD GUY AND I AM JAKE SNAKE WHO IS ONE TO STOP BAD GUY **_OR MY NAME IST JAKE SNAKE!!!!1”_**

“JaKe SnAkE yOu mUsT stEAlth DaRcuS baCk inTo oUr hanDs oR eLSe aLl tHe woRld wiLl bE liKe TeRRenCe MaLicK!” Dark Torgo warned and then the Cinema Snob and Team Snob went “Yes please more pretentious Terrence Mal- oh fuck we can’t keep the act up in this apocalyptic scenario!” and snobbed into their Caligulous Snobulous gear which is cloths like Caligula.

“You assume that Malick is actually a stronger force than our great Darcus, purveyor of fun and epic and nuclear....” propheted Mamoru Hosoda cos Wolf Children had made him a prophet in the eyes of famlies cos he showed great understanding of families for enough peeps to make him the next prophet so he was a prophet now.

“So now that Darcus is captured can I finally write Bleach NEXT **_DA HAREM OF ICHIGO_**!?” beggared Tite Kubo with begs.

“NONE OF US FUCKING WANT THAT!” sayed everyone even the people who did cos they already made doujinshis of it and everyone knows that there’s no way an official shonen could be more lurid than a doujin so they was totes right.

“aNyWaYs wE nOw nEed JaKe SnAke tO sTaRt oUr mIssIon to SavE DarCuS TayLor YaGamI! JaKe sNaKe aNd cRew... Go inTo thE missIoN chaMbeR aNd we sHall teLl yOu hOw to stop bAd gUy TerrEncE MaLick!”

“I SHALL LIVE UP TO NAME AND BRO!” Jake Snake and Otacon loked at Kojima and they stared for 20 seconds then Miller grabed him and they all went into mission room.

“oKaY Koji, wHaT scrIpT do wE inItiatE for thEm?” Dark Torgo questered.

“A stealth one with stealth and the one thing that could tread through Malick’s moat of tree sap.... THE SAP EATING AQUATIC MILITARY ABYSSAL NAUTICAL, OR THE **_S.E.A.M.A.N._** IN THE SCRIPT CROSSING OVER THE DEUX GREATEST SUBMARINE MOVIES OF ALL TIME!” boasted Kojima as he put the script into the mission deposit box so Jake Snake and crew would have mission for mission to begin saving of D’arkYagam’i.

**_SCRIPT INITIATE: THE HUNT FOR DAS BOOT_** texted the big computer screen as Jake Snake and Otacon and Miller got into SEAMAN and plowed through past ocean and then began eating apart tree sap as they approached Texas where the nearby oceans was all tree sap cos that was Terrence Malick’s moat.

(SN: “U96” DAS BOOT)

Da SEAMAN was going all hyperspeed thru the sap with a stealth radar that made it super undectectable or a stealthdar as Jake Snake stealthed into Texas and drove the submarine up the Brazos river which was also tree sap BUT THEN THEIR RADAR DETECTED A COMING CRUISER!!!!

“Set SEAMAN to deeper.” commanded Otacon and Miller put it deeper.

**_ DEEPER _ **

“We are set SEAMAN for deeper,” reported Miller.

The SEAMAN sonared the sensed the cruiser float away at normal pace and Jake Snake say “we have escape cruiser!” so they traveled forward and brushed aside some branches.

BUT THE BRANCHES HAD LEAVES WHICH STUCKED INTO THE SUB AND SLOWED IT DOWN AND THEN A TREE BRANCH PIERCED IN FROM THE FRONT SO A TREE BRANCH PUSHED A BOLT OUT AND THEN THE BOLT PINGED OUT AND RICHOCHET ANOTHER BOLT OUT AND THE TWO CAME OUT AT OTACON BUT HE SMACKED THEM WITH A HEADBUTT AND THEY FELL TO THE GROUND BY THE MIGHT OF HIS GLASSES!!!!1

“WTF was that!?” Otacon questered as he put the bolts into his boltgun that shooted the bolts back so the tree branch shooted out and landed out in da sand cos now the SEAMAN was sandcruising cos it ate all the tree sap and converted it to fuel cos that’s what it does.

Then the SEAMAN crumpled the tree branch and then crumpled a bunch more until they dugged under the sand and radared again.

“No active signs of enemy ships.... WHAT!?” Tree roots grabed the SEAMAN and infested into teh engine rrom.

(SN: “Kaboom!!!” The Hunt for Red October)

“We have saboteur among the SEAMAN.” warned Miller as Jake Snake stealthed past tree roots while using sap from the fuel disposal emergency unit which used a hose to shoot fuel as an emergency to hold the roots and stealth into the coffee room.

The tree branches then sucked all the coffee which was part water and then the roots began trying to sense out Jake Snake but he stealthed into a corner and tricked the roots into sticking themselves into a chainsaw trap he laid that severed them off and they limped ded.

Jake Snake then grabed his chainsaw and stealthed into the engine rrom and saw the tree branches **_WERE ABOUT TO CHARGE THE ENGINE SO THEY WOOD ALL BLOW UP AND DI._**

“Bad guys are gong 2 kile us all.... **_I MUST STEALTH UP TO MY FAMILY NAME! BY THE RESONANCE OF NANOMACHINE UPIRSING AND FUSION OF NANOMACHINES WITH WORD AND SELECTION OF METAL GEAR SOLID FOR SAVING WORD AND CONCEPTION OF HIDEO KOJIMA AND EVOLUTION OF MILLER AND US FROM GAME INTO COUNCIL AND NOW LIBERATION FOR US FROM TREES AND BAD GUYS ATTACKING NEW WORD!!!!1_** ” Jake Snake thought and forted up a barricade of chainsaws as he charged forward and the forterss of chainsaws in his inventory and then did ninja tricks all over the roots and nubbed them all so the engine was safe and the tree pulled back.

“Surface the SEAMAN! Ready the water-burning fire cannon!” Miller.

“BURNING UP!” roared Otacon as he shooted a flame while diving it to the sky and then dived back down as the flames burned the tree up **THEN HE DIVED RIGHT INTO THE DRIED WITHERED TREE _AND IT EXPLODED INTO BITS OF TREE BITS EVERYWHERE AND THE WHOLE COUNCIL CHEERED “OORAH!”_**

_AN: They cheer a bit communisty but they’re not bad doods they just have some Communits freds lik the one who shows up **NOW1)**_

(SN: “Hymn to Red October” Basil Pouledoris)

“tHeY hAVe stAlLed tHe tRee aNd nOw tHE bASe iS opEn. ReSummoN thE ReD OctoBEr wITh oUr pRImEd SupEr ComMunISts!” DaRk ToRgO commandered with his hand cane as the hand formed a pointy finger pose and sent signal for Red October DEUX which is the new Red October that also sand cruises like the SEAMAN but has the power of Communism who are allies in this case cos they are compete against bad man Terrence Malick I think cos they sayed he is bad man? :?

“I do say this is quite a well-constructed submarine.” chummed Sir Sean Connery who was Captain of the ship and smoked a pipe while they cruised to Jake Snake for the base.

“We are approach Texas in base of Terrence Malick” Mao ( _AN: He’s Mao Zedong but from Code Geass and he did but he’s back and I’ll explain it in Light and Dark DEUX for the deets but’s that another tale soz_ ) noted as Red October DEUX lunged up and leaped all the way into land where was Jake Snake and near base of Terrence Malick.

**_ RIGHT NEXT TO JAKE SNAKE _ **

“HEY! WE HAVE JOINED AS REINFORCEMENTS TO HELP IN YOUR SECOND MISSION HALF!” Tim Curry yelled from atop the top guns of the RODEUX and Jake Snake ask “are you army guys to help us stop bad guys?” and Tim Curry yessed “YES!” and nodded while eating some sesame cake.

“WELL THEN THANK YOU REINFORCEMENT GUYS AND WELCOME IN OUR STOPPING FROM BAD GUYS!” Jake Snake while Otacon and Miller waved behind and were all lik “Yo.”

“Now it is our calculation that Malick and D’ark should be nearby. By the way, on an incidental note when we reclaim him he is to be referred as D’ark whereas any other Dark shall be named as Darcus to avoid confusion from now on.” Piped Sean Connery and smoked a pie.

**_RANDOM SHOT OF EMPTY SAND_** ( _AN: The music pauses here for nature sound effect thingies then resumes if the music is still playing here when the shot ends_ )

_Who is this man and why does he deny philosiphizing? What is this “NUCLEAR” he holds so close? Why does he insist of this being ‘AWESOME’ and leaping his gaze by the second? Man can’t hold still. Christ....._

**_ BACK AT THE COUNCIL _ **

“F-ck!” Suiraphla. “That kind of shot only meens one ting!”

**_ BACK WITH THE SANDMARINECRUISERSHIPS _ **

“EGADS THAT SHOT OF EMPTY SAND! WE MUST BE APPROACHING WHERE D’ARK IS, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY.......... **TERRENCE MALICK! READY ALL FLAME LASERS AND PRIME RODEUX’S DEPRETENTIOSIZERS FOR PROTECTION!** ” Tim Curry hammed while Sean Connery pulled levers from left and right and up and Dennis.

“Defenses primed,” Seaned The Sean, “we should be protected from any love that loves us.... wait.... love that loves us!? That meaningless tripe can only mean....”

“Approaching massive unidentified object.” Mao. “It appears natural in composition AND HOLY SHIT WE HAVE DARCUS ER I MEAN D’ARK TAGGED WITHIN! PREPARE FOR COMBAT!”

(SN: “Lacrimosa” Zbigniew Preisner)

THEN THE SAND CHANGED TO SPACE AS A GIANT MASS OF TREES AND COSMOS AND GALAXIES AND FUCKING DINOSAURS SUMMONED UP FROM THE BEACH IN THE FORM OF A CROSS WHITE AS PURGATORY AS TERRUNS MALCK TEXANED “ _BOY WHAT IN GOD’S NAME YA THINK YER DOIN’!? I TOLD YA THAT THIS BOY BE MY PROPERTY! YOU DON’T HAVE A DAMN WHAT YER DOING IN YER MEDDLIN’!_ ”

**_ SHOT OF DINOSAURS CROSSING STARS INTO PURGATORY _ **

_They have again showed up to meet at the edge... at Heaven’s Gate more ancient than the notion of existence itself. A lost paradise far as space and old beyond our own ancestors.... God, why must I be tasked in your protective labour? **Am I not a man!?**_

“When did your waxing poetic get less shitty Terrence? Did you miss those fellows at Cannes having good laughter in your descent into self-parody?” Dark Torgo smirked.

 “WHERE THE HELL DID YOUR ACCENT GO, AND FURTHERMORE I STILL DON’T GET HOW TO THE WONDER IS THAT MUCH WORSE THAN ANY OF HIS FILMS NOT NAMED BADLANDS!? Also someone please explain to me how Days of Heaven is so much better than Heaven’s Gate.”

“It was taking too long to speak in that for this occasion so I have it off for now. Anyways, for starters Days of Heaven at least is less brown.... and shorter...”

“BUT IT FEELS LONGER BECAUSE MALICK HAS NO STRUCTURE!” Brad slammed.

“Um... that locust scene was really good. And Ennio Morricone.” Dark Torgo note.

“Well that may be nice, but does it beat the classic historical art of a kid rollerskating on a violin?” Brad snobbed.

“Errr.... okay both films are more okayish then. Fair?”

Brad then toke off his glases and sayed “Nope! Would still watch Cimino’s highly realistic western slog over Malick’s naturalistic western slog, brown and all! Hahahahaha!”

“F-ck.... okay do we talk To The Wonder now? Both films lack structure and have the two weakest philosophical monologgy thingies of Malick’s movies, but Tree of Life at least isn’t ‘love that loves us.’ Also where Wonder was Gerry with grass in place of sand basically, Tree of Life was SPACE and STARS and LATIN CHANTING and **_FUCKING DINOSAURS_** and **_MAYBE PURGATORY WHICH IS A BEACH_** and Brad Pitt was fun.”

“Brad Pitt was fun, well yeah. Point understood, but I still insist my go-to pretentious movie,” he toke out a copy of Salo, “tops your go-to pretentious movie.”

“AAAAUGH!” cringed Doug Walker cos Salo was shown and that’s a really disturbing moive.

“Wuss!” chuclked Brad.

“DAMN YER ARGYIN’ BOYS WE’VE BEEN HOLDING UP THIS BATTLE FOR YOUR ARGUMENT!? IF YE DON’T MIND WE’D LIKE TO RESUME NOW!” Terence Malice hicked cos this debate was debating for too long and the fight was on pause.

“Oh right. That.” Suirahpla remember. “CONTINUE!”

(SN: “Passion” Carl Orff)

The Sean pulled out dual wielding flame throwers and whacked all the dinosaurs with his berd while Tim Curry boiled them atop the stars as they began falling from the dinos weight into purgatory and supernovaed sand so it was supernova flame sand and pried all the trees burned down with fire and there was Terrence Malick coated in protective tree sap with branches for armor. ALSO D’ARKYAGAM’I was THERE AND HIS MANTHING WAS SEALED WITH TREE SAP DEUX COS MALICK DIDN’T WANT HIM MAKING KIDDIES AND HE WAS ALL LIKE “Yo doods omg I write a fanfic and now Im stuck but you guys CUMED AND SAVE ME WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!1” and unstucked himself from the treesap while Tim Curry used a nuclear he crafted form the remnants of supernovae to shoot at D’ark so he could ride it back and he leaped on and the heat melted off all the remaining tree sap while Malick shaked his fist all like “DEMN YA AND YOUR DEMN FIC THINGIES YE DOTH NOT KNOWETH THE DANGERS OF THE LORD YE BE TAMPERIN WIT’!” he ramble but D’ark was all lik “OMG SO BORING TALK ABOUT COOL THINGS OLD DOOD COS IM BORD FRUM YU LOL1”

(SN: “Sons of Liberty Main Theme (Greatest Video Game Music Version”)

**_ SHOT OF SAND FORMING :/ FACE AND A DEER STEPPING ON IT _ **

_Philosophy is more than an old person’s task if you would actually take a moment to try it for yourself._

Malick then gave :/ face himself and petted the deer. “EEH, I CAN STILL WIN THIS FILM WHILE THEY HAVE THEIR D’ARK METHINKS...”

**_ BACK AT THE COUNCIL _ **

Everyone was cheer because D’ark was a rescue and everyone cheer Jake Snake and SEAMAN crew and RODEUX crew was gifted the Order of Lenin like Tim Curry sayed they would back in the moive. Then Lelouch leaped out of the stowaway he was in from RODEUX cos he wanted revenge on Mao for Communistificating him earlier but cos he jumped in the ceremony he got the Order too and Mao was all lik “O hai Lelouch didn’t know you were a part of this anyways now that means we’re both Supercommunits DEUX!”

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANTED F-CK GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Lelouch whined cos he failed and ran away scraming while everyone else held :? face cos they dint know he was planing a revenge.

“yOu hAvE woNnEd wElL jAkE sNaKe, sOs yOu DuEX caN nAo joYn uR coUNseL.” Aprove Dark Torgo. Then I fistbump Jake Snake and freds as squirrelking who inspired fic cos Im narratr of dis fic who halped get Jake Snake new fic to get to rael word and join counsel **_YAY!!!!!!!111111!!_**

**OMG I AM BACK AND ANNIE MAY EXPO WAS KEWL AND I WATCHED TONS OF MOIVES AND STUFF SO ALL THE COOL DOODS WHO MAKE THEM AND STUFF CAN BE PART OF COUNSEL AND MAYBE SOME GAME AND TV DOODS 2 COS NOW MGSVI FIGHT OF METAL GEARS IS DUN SO I CAN RETURN TO LIGHT AND DARK DEUX! WHO IS THE FIRST COUNSELY PERSON TO WORK WITH D’ARK TO MAKE FUN AND EPIC AGAINST BAD MAN TERRUNCE MALICK!? IT’S GOT PARKOUR AND ACTION CHICKS! WHY IS TERRENCE MALKY BAD MAN!? IT’S ONLY MYSTERY! (** Well for now that is cos it’s a surpirse tho :p **)**


End file.
